Beer Review: Simpler Times

Lest you think Beer Committee are snobs who only drink microbrews you've never heard of, we are here today to discuss Trader Joe's Simper Times. At 6.2% alcohol and $2.99 a pack, it's no surprise that Simper Times is a staple of the Beer Committee diet. This friendly and portable lager can be picked up in can form at any Trader Joes. Simpler Times is ready to join you at a BBQ, the beach, a pool party, or while playing a rowdy game of Cranium. But what IS the taste of a Simper Time? Have we really ever though of what this beer tastes like as we consume can after can? Let us, just for a moment, truly examine the flavor of Simpler Times.

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It tastes like nothing. It's just beer. It's neither malty nor hoppy, no bouquet or aroma hits me, there's no complication to it at all. I can't tell the color because it's being consumed out of a can like it should be. The most I can tell is that it's carbonated and boozy. Simpler Times has truly achieved simplicity and I for one appreciate the honesty in advertising.

But we all know that Simpler Times is not about the taste, it's about the proximity. The familiarity it has with all things fun. It tastes like Sunday. It tastes like the desert. It tastes...not unlike licking a battery. In other words, it tastes like Los Angeles. My home.

Beer Score:

Taste: 1.5

Comfort: 10

Plusses: cheap as dirt and gets you drunk

Minuses: "Seriously, you guys. I have stuff I need to get done this afternoon."